Category: Secessionism

Wingnuts in Texas

So, I just recently discovered John Avlon, who is the national commentator who best articulates my position on politics (aside from me, but I’m not national). On Monday, Avlon wrote a short piece describing the Texan Republican Primary candidates for Governor in which he argued that Conservative extremists have absolutely derailed the election. As a result, a man who briefly flirted publicly with the idea of secession is still the Republican candidate for Governor of Texas.

Of course there is a wealth of irony in the party of Lincoln putting forward someone who has brown-nosed secessionists. However, the purpose of the piece is not merely to mock the crazy in Texas. What is wrong with America (for which Texas is standing in) when someone like Perry is elected? Certainly he had a Tea Party candidate in the mix, but she seems relatively moderate in comparison. And, most importantly, why can’t a practical centrist who isn’t spouting crazy get elected over him?

Can anybody explain the election in Texas to me? Or should I just give up hope for America?


If your tendency is to rail against the federal government, arguing against federal oversight and intervention, then you cannot be considered an American patriot. You can be considered a state or local patriot, but you are not actually nationalist because you aren’t all that fond of thenation.

This same rule applies to you if you make snide remarks about the left coast or flyover country. If you believe that the country would be better if certain areas of it were blasted by tornados, then you cannot be said to be a patriot.

Finally, if you believe that the best way to deal with various national crises is to threaten secession (personal or community), hunkering down in a bunker with a gun and canned foods, you are not a patriot. I don’t care if you have a framed copy of the constitution signed by Reagan himself. You are nothing like Reagan, you are a nut, a loon, and a separatist; ergo, you are not a patriot.

It has been my pleasure to provide you with this helpful guide. Please feel free to turn to me for more advice regarding how you out to behave in public or on the internet. You’re welcome.